6/10 – I felt a bit flat today even though I can see and feel that I am making improvements and heading in the right direction. Physically I do not feel great but I still went to the gym to do what turned out to be a good 45 minute Wattbike session. I met up with a friend from work at lunch time. It does not appear that I am missing much at work. It is strange but I still feel that I am not ready to return to the real world. I do not think I am strong enough; yet I am conscious that I have been off 3 months already. I never anticipated being off this long; but then again I underestimated how big my depression had become.
I had counselling this afternoon and I was more positive than my last session. I explained that I had been relatively stable over the last week, but still had some way to go to be happy. I talked about how I felt that I had completely emptied my brain and was starting to fill it back up again. I explained how I wanted to use what I had been through positively to help others and discussed the 999 blue light scheme. Confirmed that it is not yet available in Wales. I threw some ideas around such as support groups like ‘mental health mates’ as set up by Bryony Gordon. The counsellor has referred me to Mindfulness. So lets see what this is all about.