I am not a loner, I just like being alone

LIVE BLOG – Tuesday 25th July 2017 (2.46pm)

8/10 – I am sat in Costa in Penarth drinking a Belgian chocolate cool drink thing and I thought I would put out a live blog rather than a journal update. It has been a busy few days hence lack of updates. Work is plodding along ok, I started on 6 hour shifts yesterday which was difficult but manageable for now. I did end up going out and having a brain break at midday. I need to step away from the computer screen each day and do that.

Though I am not a loner, I am quite content doing things on my own, which has been magnified through the depression. It is not that I don’t have any friends, I have many, it is just the way I am. I learn’t a lot about myself during the ‘Mind over Marathon’ process, but one thing that really struck me was having a community around you, in my case a running community or crew. Though I took part in team sports up until 5 or 6 years ago, I prefer to go to the gym or out running and cycling on my own. This way I do not have to keep pace with anyone or engage in any conversation. It also gives me the freedom of going where I want and doing what I want to do.

Whilst training for the London marathon, I was with a group of people also battling mental health issues. This group of people showed me what it was like to run with others and it is something that I have began to enjoy. I joined the local park run earlier in the year and have met a lovely group of people, many of which run on weekday evening and enter runs together. I have been meaning to go to a run for the last few weeks but things (time, Olly and dinner … as well as my head) have got in the way. Last night however, I decided to join. What with running to the meet, then running for an hour, then running home I clocked up over 8 miles. The distance or time is no longer important to me. What mattered was that I was out being sociable and running with people. I have to say I really enjoyed it. I have been struggling with training recently and this gave me my buzz back. The group meet a few times a week so I will see about putting maybe 1 or 2 sessions into my plan.

This morning I did a press interview which I always find helps me. It lifts my mood as I find it therapeutic. I had no plans for the rest of the day, and seeing as it is a lovely day, I took Olly out for a walk.

For some reason, I cannot find my usual flow of writing today, and I am having to think about things. Perhaps I need another one of these chocolate drinks.

Though this is a live blog, it technically will not go live until I am back in the world of speedy wifi.

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